Fear and Love
by Rae Stone
Summary: Sometimes you can't wait until death for truth and sometimes you can't let fear get in the way of love


Disclaimer: Not Mine.

Author's Note: There is something addicting about the show and what is left not said. Reading between the lines makes for more and more fanfiction. For that, I am sorry.

**Fear and Love**

Tony glanced at the window as he descended the stairs from MTAC. The five minute conversation following a fifteen minute wait for satellite time seemed all the more of a waste considering that he had come up with nothing. The MCRT team was stretched thin at the moment with two cases on the go: there was an embezzlement ring that Ziva and McGee were trying to uncover and a missing petty officer that DiNozzo was odd man out with working. Gibbs meanwhile seemed distracted trying to keep tabs on both investigations without letting Director Vance step in to "help".

He sighed, glancing at his reflection. It was night and he looked as tired as he felt. Never something that he liked to admit, even when it was true. It just reminded him that he wasn't as young as when he started with that job... almost eight years before. Some days, it felt like longer. Like this one. It was Friday night, 2110 hours and he was like a fish out of water, or a horse without a lead. Directionless. He hated not knowing what was going on almost as much as being left out and ignored. In the two days that both cases had come up, he had felt that way often with McGee and Ziva occupying one another's time, bouncing ideas, laughing, interrogating, chasing leads—getting somewhere while he remained stuck.

He hated being stuck. It reminded him of his childhood...

He sighed, sitting down at his desk, hands going into his hair—he needed a break. He was starting to psychoanalyze himself. Never a good sign. The last time he did that was...

He leaned back against his chair, eyes searching the ceiling in frustration at himself, at the case, at the fact that everyone else seemed to be making headway while he was sitting there delving into his inner psyche. It was enough to make a lesser man scream. Seeing McGee and Ziva pack up at their respective desks, he was tempted to be that lesser man.

"How was your chat with Agent Dobbs?" Ziva asked, her brow furrowed in concern at her partner's state of mind.

DiNozzo shrugged, his neck cracking with tension. He remembered one of the first cases he had work with Dobbs; it was the dead JAG lieutenant. It was also the last case he had worked with Agent Blackadder. That felt like a lifetime ago. In some respects, it was. In others, he realized, it was more like a full circle and a half ago. Tony hated circling.

"Besides the trip down memory lane, useless. He also forgot about the five bucks he owes me. I wonder what that would be now with inflation... Where are you two going?"

"Home," McGee told him with a smile, coming over to Ziva's desk, "Well a bar actually. Major break in the case. We'll have the warrant in the morning and should be done by noon. In plenty of time to help you finish your case."

"What makes you think I need the help?" Tony snapped, squinting at them, bitter and jealous that he wasn't in their position—free to enjoy a break well earned.

Tim glanced at Ziva, "More eyes makes these investigations go faster," he offered, "Missing persons are always tough like that."

"Right."

"Can you come along for a drink?" Ziva asked slowly, coming towards him carefully, as she would an armed psycho who could loose it at any moment and shoot up a room, "A break may do you good."

"Can't. I still need to check with Abby about the physical evidence after I tell Gibbs what I didn't find. Where is Gibbs?" He asked lifting his phone to his ear, ready to dial the familiar number.

"He left almost an hour ago," Ziva told him, having lost the silent battle with McGee over who was going to share that unfortunate piece of news.

"Great!" Tony hissed, slamming the receiver down, "You guys drink, Gibbs gets to build a damn boat, and Ducky leaves early for the opera without giving me the profile I need, while Abby and I are stuck here doing all the work."

"Didn't Abby mention a concert tonight?"

Tony stopped midway through the bullpen at McGee's words but instead of saying anything further, continued on his way to the Caf-Pow machine before making his way down to his favourite scientist who it seemed, unlike him, also had other places to be.

---

"You look like shit," Abby greeted, accepting the Caf-Pow before Tony could snatch it away.

"And you look ready to leave," he told her with a nod, taking in her multiple pigtails, extra dog-collar and concert-going suspenders, "Lets get this over with. What don't you got?"

She frowned, "That's not a happy question DiNozzo. What's got you down?"

"Nothing Abs. This just seems to be the theme of this investigation. I don't have the person who's missing, I don't have any leads, I don't have any help, I don't have a psychological profile and so I'm sure, you are bound to tell me something else that I don't have."

"Like a happy outlook on life?"

"Abby," he warned, not in the mood for the cheerful woman beside him. "I heard you have a concert tonight. I'm sure you'd like to get going so can we hurry this up?"

"Its only Raging Gas Lines, I've seen them like a billion times. If you'd rather, I can stay as long as you need. We are a team."

He smiled at her before leaning over and kissing her temple gently, now understanding why Gibbs often did the same, "No need for both of us to be stuck here. But thanks. Now, what do you got?"

---

"We should have stayed," Ziva shook her head as they received their drinks, not liking having abandoned their teammate who had obviously been in need.

"And done what? We've worked 36 of the previous 48 hours. And remember, if our positions had been switched, he would have left us."

"Not without leaving some hint as to the proper direction."

"That's because he's noisy enough to want to keep tabs on two cases at once. I don't know about you but I've been having enough problems keeping up on our own."

"I suppose you are right," she sighed, looking into her drink, still frowning.

McGee watched her closely as she sipped the drink, studying her as he often had since the moment she had joined their family. He shifted positions, fighting a battle over having a conversation that he knew she didn't want to have and yet one he also thought she did. It was a conversation he had imagined many times, and had actualized in one of his books—although there Officer Lisa wasn't as armed as his Agent Ziva currently was.

"Say it McGee. You look as if you have ants in your shirt."

"Pants."

She looked up, "Why would anyone want to have ants in their pants?"

He smiled, "They don't, hence the squirming."

"I will never understand the American need for sayings and beating around bushes—it is bushes yes?"

"Yes, its bushes. And its about having tact."

She shot him a look, both knowing how many times it had been said that Ziva David lacked tact. "It is about being foolish. I mean why do people feel the need to not say things that they really mean to say and use euphemisms and contradictory metaphors instead? If people have something that they feel important enough to say, why not come out and actually say the words?"

"Its not that easy Ziva. Some things that need to be said really aren't that easy to say, or to hear."

"You have something you wish to to say to me." It wasn't a question. She was sitting taller in her chair, fueled by her conviction and possible the influence of the stress of the day and the drink in her cup.

"Yes, I guess."

"No guessing McGee. You do or you do not."

"I do."

"Then say it."

"You love Tony."

Ziva leaned back against her chair, her jaw slightly agape, her eyes drifting back to the table as though she had been slapped in the face by a cold truth. "You did not ask that as a question."

He shook his head, slightly embarrassed at his forwardness on the topic. He hadn't meant to come right out with it. He had wanted to feel it out, get a sense of the conversation. He would have been able to fill in the blanks from there. But as one of his favourite comic book characters had said, "While you can get more flies with honey, I'd prefer a big honking fly swatter any day." By the look of her, he had slapped her with it good. And after everything he knew about her and everything he had also suspected, he was sorry for it.

"I didn't think it was in question. Sorry."

"Don't apologize."

He grinned and nodded, "Sign of weakness..."

"No," she cut him off, with a shake of her hair, her arm raised as she often did when she was trying to put her Hebrew thoughts into English words as though the act aided in the translation. "It is, but you have no reason to be sorry. You are not wrong."

He drew his chair closer to hers. She had given him an opening and now that he had it, he wasn't going to back away. His curiosity begged him to ask what his writer's mind had only supposed. He eased his conscience for probing with the hope that she had actually needed someone to talk to about it.

"How long?"

"Since Jeanne I suppose."

"I'm sorry." She caught his eye with a reminder, and they both smiled. "He loves you too."

She swallowed hard, "I know. People are never as blind as they pretend to be."

"Then why? When you were gone, he never gave up hope..."

She cut him off, "You love Abby."

Although taken aback and confused about the shift in topic, he nodded, owing her honesty for honesty, "Since the first moment I saw her."

"And she loves you. Why do nothing about it? In your book, you end up together..."

He smiled sadly his face flushing lightly under the dim lights, "My book is fiction. Its where I put all the things that can't happen in real life. Abs, she calls me her soul mate. But she says that soul mates aren't meant to be together, they're just suppose to be there for each other where no one else can."

"Tony and I are together in your book. How is that different?" She leaned forward with a kind smile, "I like that, in your book. To know that somewhere, in some life, it is possible."

"Not this life?"

She almost laughed, it catching in her throat, "No. He has made that clear. Not that I needed reminding. I have lost too many to try that again."

"He doesn't want to lose you, he's protecting himself."

She shrugged, thinking a moment before meeting his eye again, "You did not ask me 'why Tony'?"

"I know why. Maybe a year ago I would have, but I saw him this summer when he thought you were gone and refused to believe it. I know."

"Another thing I will never understand about Americans is your lack of telling the truth until facing death."

"Death-bed confessionals are the thing of dramatic magic. I bet Tony could tell you hundreds of movies where the heroes of the day don't come together and confess their feelings until they almost lose what they didn't know they had."

"But why wait? Why not tell them so that they know?"

"Fear of rejection, fear of the unknown, fear of happiness, of change, of loss, of Gibbs..."

They laughed, "Fear. Everything comes down to fear and love. Anger is love in reverse, happiness is lack of fear."

"What do you fear?" He prodded, knowing from her expression, she was beginning to withhold things he thought she wanted or needed to share, "Why not tell him?"

"Those who get too close die."

There it was. A truth that broke his heart to hear, and one that he hoped healed her heart to tell. "Ziva?"

She met his eye, "My father is not a good man. He is not happy that I have left. When he is not happy he is like a man possessed. I fear he is not done with me as I am with him. I fear he will use you, NCIS, to get to me. You all have already been through too much for me."

Worrying, Tim reached out and covered her hands with his, frowning further when he realized she was shaking, "Hey now, you would have done the same for any one of us."

"Yes, without question."

"You're our family Ziva. We would do anything for you."

She looked down, remembering the truth that the Director had put into words not so long ago, "But I am broken."

"We all are," Tim told her with a small smile and a shrug, "Gibbs, Abby, Ducky, me, Tony especially..." his smile grew when she laughed, "We aren't strong because we aren't broken. We're strong because we are there for one another, helping to pick up the pieces and hold them together. We're a team and a family because we are together."

Smiling at the man she had long viewed as a brother and a safe harbour in any storm, she slid forward and hugged him, glad that she had watched over him as he grew into the strong pillar she now clung to for support. It felt nice to lean on someone else for a change.

"You know, you still didn't tell me why you haven't told DiNozzo."

She laughed, blinking away the growing moisture in her eyes, "He would only hold it over my head?"

He shook his head, sharing her smile, "No, not buying that. Try again."

Her smile faded, her eyes drifting to their joined fingers. "I would die if he does."

He thought a moment, before allowing a half-shrug, "Maybe. But would it be any different whether or not you told him? Come on, you wanted honesty, so lets hear some."

"I do not want to hear him say that it is too late, that too much has happened. Even though I know it to be true."

"Its never too late Ziva, not for loving someone. He's changed, a lot. It started because of Jeanne and Jenny. But he survived and continued because of you."

"We can never be together. It is too dangerous, we would be distracted and Gibbs would never approve."

"So? You knew that how long? He knows that. Grow a set."

"A set of what?"

He laughed, grabbing his coat and standing, hoping that he had helped her in some small way, he owed her that. And more than he would ever be able to put into words. "You'll figure it out. Its nearly 0000 hours and we need to be in at 0700. I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight McGee. And thank you."

"Anytime Ziva."

"And if you tell him..."

"I know, not even Abby will be able to identify my remains. I really need to hang out with more passive-aggressive women. What are you going to do? Not sit alone and drink?"

"No, I have not become Gibbs yet. I think I may go for a walk."

He nodded, walking out of the bar with her. There they stood for a moment before bidding one another goodnight. Tim slowly made his way to his car, noticing with a smile, as he slid behind the wheel, that his friend took off towards the Navy Yard.

---

Tony frowned as he got into the elevator, thankful for the all night coffee shop just minutes outside the west gate. It was 0100 and he was still working, no closer to finding his man. Literally. He had left just after midnight to clear his head and gain a new perspective. So far, he had only gotten cold. Now he was returning, gaining no curious glances from the night security who had become far too accustomed to members of his team being there at all hours. They really needed to get a life. Or a back up team to take the extra cases when they came up. Then he could be with McGee and Ziva drinking or with Abby at her deafening concert or at home with all his friends like Nicholson and Willis, McQueen and the Duke.

He paused in the Squad room, the elevator door closing behind him. When he had left his had been the only light on. Now, there was a second. And it wasn't Gibbs'. For that he was glad. He was too tired to be yelled at for having nothing or worse, to have his coffee stolen. But if it wasn't Gibbs, who was it? Maybe it was Gibbs, messing with his mind. No, Gibbs didn't need to do that. Tony's mind was already messed with.

Nature saw to that a long time before.

Stealing himself to any possibility up to and including a Zombie clown invasion, he moved forward confidently, curious as to who had cut short their evening to come back.

"Ziva?" He asked when he set eyes upon her. She was sitting behind his desk. He looked to hers suspiciously. The light was on and her computer was humming away happily. He reached out and felt the monitor, it was warm. How long had she been there? "What are you doing here? I thought you were drinking with McLush?"

"I was." She admitted, not looking him in the eye. "But he left and I decided to return."

"And invade my desk?"

"To offer you a hand. I felt guilty for leaving early when you obviously could have used the extra help."

"So you decided to come back and put me out of my misery?"

"Is there not a saying about misery liking company?"

He nodded, still not sure of what to make of her appearance. At least he wasn't until he caught the sweet scent of ambrosia hidden from sight. And then he knew that she had been sent to him from the gods. "Pizza?"

She broke into a smile, "I thought you might like a snack?" She watched him for a moment as he sniffed the air much like a dog trying to locate a treat, "It is on McGee's desk. Your favourite I believe."

"Speaking of favourites, you are now mine," he almost sang as he picked out two slices, sitting in McGee's chair and sliding to his desk, handing her one, "Here. Nothing soaks up the booze like pizza. How many did you have? I can smell it on you. You didn't drive did you?"

"No, I walked. My car is still at the bar. When we leave will you... what?" she finished when she caught sight of his curious expression.

"You're helping me when you don't have to. You brought me pizza. Am I dying? Why are you being nice?"

"I am always nice."

"When you aren't being ninja-y on me, sure. I have a list you know, of all your inappropriate touches—the hits, the pressure points, the times you pinned me behind my desk. I'm saving them in case I ever want to charge you with harassment."

She smiled at him, her head shaking lightly, glad that his mood had improved since she had seen him last. She owed him too much to ever let him suffer from a burden that she could ease. Giving in and laughing, she leaned forward, and kissed him on the cheek, before pulling away far enough to study his face, now turned serious, and wipe away some extra sauce from the corner of his mouth.

He swallowed the bite of pizza he had momentarily forgotten about, "Uh, what was that for? Do you want me to put you up for harassment Agent David? Cause that was clearly yellow-light behaviour."

She sat back, the moment gone, "Nothing. It was the alcohol."

"You aren't using contractions, its not the alcohol." He smiled when she eyed him curiously, "You only use contractions when you are really mad or drunk. So, why did you do it?"

"Because I wanted to and because... I missed you."

"What, just now? Cause I know that McGee can be boring but I didn't think being with him for an hour would make you..."

"Tony, please do not joke. I wanted to tell you something. Something that I do not want to wait for one of us to face death to say. Tony, I..."

He looked at his desk, his face serious and blank. "I know Ziva."

The look in his eyes when he looked at her caused her to sit back, confused and hurt. His face was tight and cold. Not the face of the man who had saved her and forgiven her and tried like hell to protect her. "Then...?"

He sighed, setting his food down, a pit forming in his stomach, "I don't want to talk about this. I can't talk about this."

"Tony," she called softly when he moved to leave. The quietness in her tone called him back, urged him to remain where all the yelling and threatening in the world would have done nothing, "I am not asking anything of you. I am not making any demands. I understand more than you think. I know that we are partners and family and friends. And that is all. But, I almost died feeling that no one loved me, that I was alone with my torture. I only wanted you, the man who saved and protected and looked out for me when no other man would have, when no other man did, to know that the next time you face death, that in your heart, you will not be alone. You will have someone to worry about you and miss you and remember you fondly when you are gone."

"So you expect me to die soon do you?" He asked, arms crossed and eyebrow raised slightly. Leave it to him to make light of such a situation.

"We are all going to die. Possibly as soon as we step out of these doors. That is not in question. Whenever it happens, I would regret not having told you this. There are no strings attached."

"You know Ziva, its not the dying alone that I have a problem with anymore. Its the whole living alone that's what's hard and sucks. At least before I could kid myself into believing...but too much has happened. You do know that we can't..."

She nodded, "Not with us both working together, I know that."

"We would be distracted."

"We could be killed."

He leaned forward, his tone softening, "I don't want you to die because of me."

She smiled at him, loving the tone that he saved for when it was just the two of them, "I will not because you have my back. I know I have issues with trust, but that, that you will always have my back, I will never doubt. I cannot doubt that. It would be like doubting myself."

He studied her a long moment, tracing the lines that had grown since she joined them, worry and pain and sadness dotted her face as they did his, but never was it far from his mind the look, the youth and the child-like nature she always hid, that she wore when he found her. She was strong, even at her most fragile. She still lived when others would have died. She still lived when others did die. He knew he didn't want her to end up like them. He couldn't lose her too. Not now that he had truly discovered what she had meant to him.

But she was right, and hiding it away wasn't working. It wouldn't keep her safer. If anything, it might hurt them both more in the end. He knew that whatever was going to happen with Ziva and her future at NCIS, it was going to end up with both of their hearts torn into pieces. But, she had been right. They faced death almost every day. What little they could give one another was the knowledge that in some small way, they weren't alone. He needed that. More than anything in the world, he needed to know that he wasn't alone and that for once, he had done something right. He wanted to deserve those words, those feelings, those truths. For once, he wanted it, everything, to be right.

He knew that it would end badly. But, at least this time, it would be for all the right reasons.

He inhaled deeply, calming his heart that had just sped up, knowing that were she still the ninja he always accused her of, she would have heard it before he did. "Okay, Ziva. Say it."

"I love you Tony."

He smiled lightly, sadness mixing with joy at his bittersweet triumph, "I'm sorry Ziva. I wish I could give you the fairy tale ending you deserve."

A tear fell from her eye, "I never liked fairy tales Tony. I was not born to want one. I was born to fight for small victories and tiny miracles. I was trained to have faith and believe without question. One moment of reality is better than a lifetime of dreams. People have died for less. I have fought to live for less."

"We aren't cut out for white-picket fences, or dogs and children. Are we?"

"Probably not. We have made many enemies."

"Then what are we cut out for?"

"Love? Justice? The fight for both?"

"A moment. I love you Ziva David. And I am sorry."

"Do not apologize it is..."

"Ziva, where you are concerned, I will always have a weakness. I just hope no one uses it against me."

"Tony, like you have mine, I will always have your back."

He smiled at her, and allowed himself his moment. She loved him. She who was strong, and sure and beautiful and smart, loved him who was annoying and growing soft and immature and suspicious. Thanking whoever up there finally threw him a bone, he reached out feeling the skin of her face under his fingers, imprinting to memory that moment, the only one they were ever guaranteed, allowing them to find their way into her hair, and pulled her to him, kissing her softly and slowing, breathing in the moment, hoping that it would keep him alive later, when everything else around him would scream at him to be dead. He would have that moment to keep him alive, and hope for future moments to keep him going.

He had finally done good.

---

McGee had three extra large coffees on a tray as he came in the following morning, his own being carried lightly, in a good mood despite the early hour. It was not yet seven, the warrant was due on his desk by 0830 and he was lined up to have dinner with Abby that evening. For the moment, life was definitely good.

He paused at the edge of the bullpen, amusement playing on his lips at the scene before him. Papers in folders were strewn on the floor between the four desks, there were pieces of crumpled up note paper in various positions around McGee's waste-paper basket, a map and a list of events were on the plasma, an empty pizza box was sitting on DiNozzo's desk and Tony was on the floor, leaning against the filing cabinet, Ziva sitting by his side, was using his shoulder as a pillow as he used Bert the Hippo as his. Covering them was Tony's blazer jacket and a blanket Tim recognized as having come from Abby's lab. Both fast asleep.

He smiled even as he shook his head, navigating his way through the mess. When Gibbs saw his bullpen looking like a bull had actually visited, he was not going to be impressed. Taking pity on the pair, McGee set his coffee on his desk before depositing Gibbs' on the only empty desk of the four, and then he moved with the remaining two to the people he knew would need them the most. Squatting down, he remained motionless, waiting for the scent to meet the pair. Ziva awoke first.

She smiled without opening her eyes, "Morning McGee." She sat up with a groan, her neck stiff from the uncomfortable position she had been in.

The movement was enough for Tony to start awake, "Did I miss my history final?"

McGee shook his head, handing them the coffees, "So I take it you had a successful night?" He asked motioning to the mess of files.

Tony shook his head, trying to clear the fog, as he yawned, "I dunno, did we?"

Ziva nodded, thanking McGee when he offered her a hand in standing, "I believe we found the needle."

"Right, I'm gonna go check up on that, right after I kill myself before Gibbs does."

"Kill yourself after you clean up the mess DiNozzo," Gibbs quipped as he strolled in. "You look like hell."

"Thanks Boss, its this new look I'm trying, it says university student meets workaholic. Think it will catch on?"

"Ziva caught it."

"I do not look that bad do I?"

"Well not as bad as DiNozzo, but that isn't saying much." He looked to McGee, "What do you got?"

"Besides a full night's sleep," Tony griped through a yawn.

"We have the suspect Boss. A civilian named Staller. He's the brother-in-law of Lieutenant Aimsworth, he had the means and motive. We should be getting back the warrant to cease his computers and records within the hour. Once we connect IP addresses and time stamps on interactions, we should be able to close the case."

"DiNozzo?"

"Petty Officer Wilson didn't disappear Sir."

"Then who did?"

"Twin sister... its a long story involving dead fathers and inheritance and a priest. Too many words right now. Should have a punchline. It would make a great joke."

"So where's the sister?"

"We don't know."

"You don't know?"

"Hey, at least we now know where to look. Better than before. Going to make a few phone calls now Boss."

"That can wait."

"Until I clean up the mess and return the hippo to Abby, right Boss."

Gibbs shook his head, smiling at his agent's confusion, "Ziva and McGee can look after that. You are with me. Bring your coffee."

Gibbs beckoned with his finger to the stunned agent, who then jumped into action, going to his desk for his side-arm, "You won't need that," Gibbs called as he started off in the direction of interrogation.

"What is that about?" McGee asked, coming up to Ziva as they watched the pair leave, Tony trotting to catch up to their Boss.

"I cannot say," she shrugged, her gut not comfortable with the possibilities. "Shall we?" She asked, gesturing to the floor.

"How is it I'm always stuck with picking up after him?"

She smiled at him, "Thank you for the coffee Tim, it was very sweet of you."

"I drove by the bar this morning and saw that your car was still there. I figured you may have needed it. But your night was successful? I mean with the case and all?"

She hid her smile at his remark, knowing full well what he was referring to. "We made some headway, yes."

"But no breakthroughs?"

"We made a start. That is enough."

"I'm glad. You both deserve a break, you know, in your case."

Ziva couldn't help but laugh. Yes, she was happy to have such a family as this. "Get to work McGee."

"Right, Probie..."

---

Gibbs paused outside interrogation 2, taking a long sip of his coffee.

"What's up Boss, you working another case?" Tony asked, slightly uncomfortable. He felt like he had been caught with his hand in the company cookie jar.

Gibbs opened the door, the room was empty. "After you."

Swallowing hard, Tony entered the dark room, only put slightly more at ease when he noticed the lights on in observation, at least they were going to be alone. Which, on second thought, probably shouldn't have been as comforting as it actually was. Gibbs switched on the lights and gestured for Tony to sit in the hot seat.

"What's going on Boss? Is it performance evaluation time again so soon?"

"I checked the security footage from last night to see when you left."

Tony cheered, he had finally been let in on a secret he had long pondered. "Ah-ha, so that's how you know so much about what's going on. You check the security..." he broke off, suddenly knowing what their meeting was about. "You checked the security footage?"

Gibbs smiled at his guilty agent, enjoying his discomfort. Nodding he sat down opposite the younger man, "There's no sound but I'm good enough at reading lips to catch the drift of what happened up here."

"Boss nothing happened. And nothing will. Rule 12." He cringed when Gibbs beckoned him forward with his index finger. Doing what he was told, he wasn't surprised by the head slap he received. "I'm not sure why I deserved that Boss."

Gibbs slapped him again, "Yes you do."

"I do. Why do I?"

"I'm going to tell you a story DiNozzo, about two agents who were partners and they became involved. Some may call it inevitable considering their job, their lives. Others would have called it foolish since they could have died any moment. They, however, called it love."

"You and Jenny?"

"Me and Jen. Do you know about Paris?"

"Only that it was a job gone wrong. It cost her her life."

Gibbs inhaled a steadying breath, bringing back the memories that he usually tried to forget, "She was the first woman since Shannon that I felt that way for. She's the only woman who could annoy a man into loving her. In Paris I asked her to marry me.

"In those days you couldn't be a field agent and wife both. And she knew I had two ex wives, and didn't want to take the chance of being ex wife number three. She wanted to be director some day. So she chose the job."

"She never said it but, I think she regretted that."

"I know." Gibbs nodded, "Franks told me. She told him just before she died. She should have told me."

"Boss?"

"DiNozzo, what is the one rule that supersedes all other rules?"

"Rule 1 Boss."

"Which is?"

"Never screw over your partner."

"Exactly," he began slowly, his eyes meeting Tony's, conveying through them more than his words themselves, "Never screw over your partner." With a smile and a nod, knowing the second Tony understood, he stood and made his way to the door.

Tony smiled, "Aren't you forgetting the part where you warn me not to hurt her?"

"Nope. You've known her long enough to know what she'll do to you if you do."

"Thanks Boss."

"Don't thank me yet. Relationships are hell." With that Gibbs left the room and his finest soldier to his thoughts.

---

"BOLO came back on our missing woman," Ziva began as soon as Gibbs re-entered the bullpen, having just hung up the phone, "Metro PD found her in a dumpster."

"She's a civilian, give the case to them."

"Yes Gibbs."

"And once you're done that, we can get going," McGee told her even as she dialled the number, "Warrant just came through."

Gibbs paused a moment, looking between the pair before smiling. "McGee, you're with me."

"Boss?" Tim and Ziva exchanged curious glances.

"To get those IP thingies."

"Addresses. But Ziva..."

"Ziva's needed in Interrogation 2." He grabbed his badge and gun from his drawer, glancing at McGee who was still standing where he had been, not hiding his stunned expression, "Well?"

"Coming Boss." Sharing a final shrug with Ziva, McGee was off, gathering his things before darting towards the closing elevator.

Which left Ziva alone. Hanging up the phone with Metro, she recalled what Gibbs had told her, and made her way to interrogation. She was about to open the door when the handle was pulled from her hand and Tony met her in the doorway.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, eyeing her carefully.

"Gibbs told me I was needed here. What is going on?"

Smiling wider than he did in some time Tony leaned against the frame, his hands sliding into his pocket, "I think Gibbs just gave us his blessing."

"Blessing for what?"

"To work on our frisking techniques. Naked."

"Really?"

He nodded, glad at that moment that he didn't have to pull away when she took a step closer. He was about to lean forward to kiss her when his phone started to ring. It was Gibbs. Confused at possible mixed messages, he answered the phone.

"DiNozzo."

"Keep it out of the office."

"Will do Boss."

"Now."

"We aren't doing anything."

The voice on the other end sighed, "Go home, start something there. That's an order."

"Yes Sir, er Boss. Sorry."

Gibbs shook his head as he hung up his cell phone. Never one to keep his eyes on the road he cast a look to McGee who was wearing a knowing smile. Wiping his face of all emotion he reached over and slapped his passenger.

"Ow, what was that for?"

"Getting them to talk about their feelings."

"So they're..."

"Yup."

"You okay with that?"

"Have to be."

"Boss?"

"It was inevitable McGee," he told the younger man with a grin, "It was inevitable."

---

This just came to me... and I had to share. It didn't give any other option.


End file.
